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What were\u00a0 your first experiences like studying kathak with Pandit Chitresh Das? As a member of the South Asian Diaspora what influence did Pandit Das\u2019s teachings have on your life?<\/span><\/b><\/h4>\nIt was 1998 and I was a student at UC Berkeley studying Molecular Environmental Biology with a minor in South Asian studies.\u00a0 Just to paint the scene of that time – the internet or as we called it \u201cthe information superhighway\u201d, was just on the brink of transforming the world (unbeknownst to us).\u00a0 \u201cDot com\u201d companies were emerging, but the vast majority of people did not use the internet outside of email and we certainly didn\u2019t have cell phones or even laptops. Technology was not mobile in any way so when we left the house we were focused on absorbing the sensory world around us.\u00a0 The UC Berkeley campus was as socially charged as ever and not a day went by that I wasn\u2019t in awe of being immersed in this global think tank for science <\/span>and <\/span><\/i>the<\/span> searing social issues of the time, like the controversial Prop 209 prohibiting affirmative action in California.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n I was a spirited 1st generation-born South Asian American and very active in our South Asian community and activities on campus, like the Indus club.\u00a0 We put on sold-out shows of 4000 people every year with a line-up of folk and classical dances (there was really no such thing as Bollywood dance yet), hip hop offerings (it was the 90s golden era of hip hop\/R&B), and elaborate comedy bits riddled with inside jokes that only children of South Asian immigrants could collude on.\u00a0 We were young, brown, and proud.\u00a0 And it was the most formidable time of my life.\u00a0 The only problem was that while my South Asian pride was well-intentioned and pure-hearted, I didn\u2019t have any real depth of knowledge about this culture that I claimed to be so proud of.\u00a0 I was naive, sophomoric – arrogant even. I thought that participating in culture shows, eating Indian food, and wearing Indian clothes made me a worthy ambassador for my heritage. Until I stepped into Pandit Chitresh Das\u2019 class…<\/span><\/p>\n I <\/span>loved<\/span><\/i> dance (bhangra was my favorite at the time),\u00a0so when I heard about kathak classes by this great master, I was intrigued.<\/span>\u00a0I was at the age where the world was a candy store. I was constantly searching for a purpose but still hadn\u2019t found it. \u00a0 When I casually arrived just across the Bay Bridge in San Francisco to an ashram called the Cultural Integration Fellowship, before even walking into the class I could hear sounds of ghungroo vibrating the whole building.\u00a0 That in and of itself was an energy that hit me.\u00a0 When I walked in, there were several women dripping in sweat in their <\/span>salwar kurthas<\/span><\/i>, not looking left and not looking right.\u00a0 The potential energy in the room that was generated from their focus was palpable.\u00a0 They were doing things with their feet and bodies that I had never seen in my life.\u00a0 And at the front of the room was this little firey man – he was yelling \u201cDo or Die!\u201d.\u00a0 My jaw dropped.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t understand what was happening.\u00a0 This is an Indian dance class?\u00a0 I had seen Indian classical dance, but this level of intensity and focus was otherworldly. \u00a0 I sat and watched him teach the entire class – it was unrelenting, uncompromising, and provocative.\u00a0 He was purposefully trying to ignite a fire under his students.\u00a0 At times he would get up and make goading statements, holding a mirror up to each student and blowing up their programmed thinking about the world.\u00a0 As I sat there, every part of my body was shaking.\u00a0 I had no idea that Indian dance could be <\/span>this<\/span><\/i> physical, emotional, and spiritual all at the same time.\u00a0 It was an India I never knew.\u00a0 It was a human experience I never knew.\u00a0 And I had never ever seen a teacher who gave every drop of his soul to his students in every moment that he was teaching.\u00a0 At some point, Pandit Das finally looked at me and smirked his first words to me,\u00a0 \u201cWho are you?\u201d.\u00a0 Of course he partially wanted to know literally who I was and what I was doing there, but his question was also laced with a deep weight.\u00a0 It was more like a challenge, \u201cWho <\/span>are<\/span><\/i> you?\u00a0 Why were you born?\u00a0 Do you even know?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 But I was determined to find out.\u00a0 The rest is history.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span> What initially drew me into the dance and made me keep coming back for more was the life philosophy with which Guruji made the dance a platform for.\u00a0 I was struck by the deep intention we were expected to have in each moment, beginning with how we walked into the classroom, how we conducted ourselves, and what level of consciousness we had at all times.\u00a0 He reminded us regularly of his own Guruji\u2019s famous words, \u201cI care more about how you walk into the classroom than how you dance.\u201d\u00a0 It was always about what attitude and open-heartedness we brought into the room and how that should be translated to the way we lived outside the classroom.\u00a0 I was mesmerized in my early days of study just by the <\/span>pranam<\/span><\/i> (opening invocation) that we do at the start of every class.\u00a0 It\u2019s such a deep level of intention, humility, and mindfulness combined with movement, melody, and beauty.\u00a0 Those four cycles of 16 beats perfectly enwraps the idea that we are not there to just learn dance pieces or execute choreography, but rather to wholly offer ourselves to the pursuit of a higher consciousness, a higher self, and a higher truth of who we each are as individuals in this world.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s this concept and the way in which Guruji extracted it from his students that continued to draw me in.\u00a0 Because let\u2019s also be clear, it wasn\u2019t about finding a higher consciousness through being New Agey and gentle and sensitive.\u00a0 Rather it was old-school, tough love with an aim to make us warriors.\u00a0 And <\/span>he was okay with his methods weeding out those who couldn\u2019t handle the heat.\u00a0 He always said \u201cI don\u2019t give sugar coated pills\u201d.\u00a0 He was actually looking for students who responded to the heat with determination and perseverance \u2013 even if it meant taking short-term losses.\u00a0 Another line of his was \u201cWhen you tell the truth, you will lose students, but you will gain disciples.\u201d Lucky for me, I was searching for someone to tell me the truth, not just make me feel good in the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n And <\/span>he utilized every aspect of the dance form to do this – its intense physical demands, powerful musicality, emotional breadth of storytelling, spontaneity of improvisation, its playfulness and sensuality, and of course the sheer beauty.\u00a0 All of them were tools to go deep into the crevices of the human experience, particularly what was uncomfortable. \u00a0 And when we were drenched in sweat, could barely breathe, and were too exhausted from exertion to tell the difference between our tears and sweat, he would use those moments of emotional nakedness and openness to challenge our belief systems and to breakthrough thinking from inside the box.\u00a0 So if you ask me about what aspects of the dance resonated with me, I can\u2019t talk about those without pulling up to a higher plane of what it all means.\u00a0 To me, those specifics are the nuts and bolts of the practice.\u00a0 I have come to be passionate about each and every aspect of the dance and I feel they are all deeply important to pursue knowledge of in order to be a true kathak artist.\u00a0 You can\u2019t pick and choose.\u00a0 You have to be strong in taal, technique, physical stamina, grace, expression, music, recitation and poetry. <\/span>Tayari, layakari, khoobsurti, nazakat, abhinaya, sangeet, parhant, and kavit.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n But if I\u2019m being honest, if Guruji were a martial artist putting forth the same life philosophies with the same approach and style, I would probably be a martial artist today, not a kathak dancer.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span> So I can\u2019t talk about Kathak Yoga without telling a great story.\u00a0 <\/span>In the first 3-4 years of my study, the Chitresh Das Dance Company was on a trajectory of rising visibility on the mainstream stage.\u00a0 While I was most struck from Day 1 by the life philosophies with which Guruji imparted the knowledge of the dance, I couldn\u2019t help salivating over the glamour of performance.\u00a0 So when Guruji started putting me in choreography for the stage, I was thrilled.\u00a0 I thought I had made it.\u00a0 At that time, I measured my progress in my study of the dance with the choreography I was placed in or the particular group of dancers I was put with.\u00a0 So it\u2019s an understatement to say that when he kicked me out of an ensemble piece one day, I was indignant.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cRachna, you don\u2019t look good in this and you can\u2019t keep up with the others.\u00a0 Go stand over there and play <\/span>manjira<\/span><\/i> (finger cymbals)\u201d.\u00a0 My ego (and I had a lot of it) was shattered.\u00a0 How dare he tell me I\u2019m not good enough to dance with them.\u00a0 I AM good enough.\u00a0 I stood to the side, playing <\/span>manjira<\/span><\/i>, pouting, and watching the others do beautiful choreography.\u00a0 The reality was that I was struggling with that choreography. My body lines were not developed yet as a dancer and I didn\u2019t have the refinement necessary for professional choreography, especially on a western stage, where that was the most important value.\u00a0 But Guruji wasn\u2019t angry with me in this scenario.\u00a0 In fact, he seemed totally unphased, which made me even MORE angry.\u00a0 Did he not care that I didn\u2019t progress?\u00a0 Am I just dispensable? \u00a0 At some point, there was a harmonium on the side and he told me to start playing it.\u00a0 My fingers moved fast on it because of my piano training and he was pleased with it.\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t like being good at it.\u00a0 I was angrier than ever. I did not want to be a musician.\u00a0 I wanted to be a dancer.\u00a0 And I especially wanted to dance and perform with my friends.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what this was all about?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Despite this turmoil inside of me, I kept doing as he asked. I started trying to do some footwork while playing the harmonium since he often did footwork while playing tabla. He coined this technique Kathak Yoga because of its concentrative characteristics.\u00a0 When I started doing this, it made him <\/span>very<\/span><\/i> happy which made me even more depressed.\u00a0 I would cry while playing the harmonium and the keys would get wet before I could wipe away my tears.\u00a0 One day, he came over to me as I was crying.\u00a0 He slowly leaned over the harmonium and pierced his eyes into mine \u2013 something he did sometimes when he wanted to deeply reach your psyche.\u00a0 It was unnerving, as if someone was peering into your soul.\u00a0 He paused for a moment and said \u201cWhy are you being so stupid?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you see what this is?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to give you truffles and you want Kit Kat.\u201d\u00a0 He pointed at the harmonium, \u201ctruffles\u201d he repeated, and then pointed at the dancers doing choreography, \u201cKit Kat\u201d.\u00a0 Then he cracked a very small, mischievous smile and smirked, \u201cJust trust me\u201d.\u00a0 And he walked away.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t fully grasp what he was trying to tell me.\u00a0 But there was one thing that was very clear –\u00a0 he believed in something in me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what it was.\u00a0 But somehow I had faith in it and I believed that whatever he had in mind, was in my best interest. I didn\u2019t spend time analyzing it or intellectualizing it.\u00a0 I just surrendered \u2013 not to him the person, but to the lesson he was trying to teach me.\u00a0 So, I started taking the harmonium more seriously.\u00a0 In other words, I started practicing.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 We went to India that winter and I was living in the same house with all my guru sisters and Guruji.\u00a0 We would train together every morning.\u00a0 But I was so determined to develop the \u201ctruffles\u201d that I would wake up before everyone else and secretly work on doing footwork with the harmonium. I was focused.\u00a0 I was determined.\u00a0 And I was fueled by my ego, channeling its double-edged sword.\u00a0 I was not going to allow myself to be left behind. I was going to do whatever it took to make myself relevant and I was going to rise to what Guruji saw in me.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When we returned from India, we were in class one day at the ashram and Guruji suddenly rubbed his chin and titled his head up in a scheming manner \u201cI heartd that Rachna is doing <\/span>layakari <\/span><\/i>(complex playing of rhythms) footwork in kathak yoga with the harmonium?\u00a0 Is it true?\u201d He looked at me.\u00a0 I knew better than to fall into the trap of boastfully saying yes.\u00a0 I clasped my hands together and put my head down in a humble acknowledgement of his statement.\u00a0 \u201cShow me.\u201d, he said. \u00a0 I walked over to the harmonium and started doing <\/span>kramalaya <\/span><\/i>(ascending speeds of footwork).\u00a0 I started simple with 16 on 16, 32 on 16, but then I went on to fitting 24, 48, 96 on 16 beats while playing the 16 beat cycle with my right hand, pumping the instrument a-rhythmically with my left hand, and singing the cyclical melody.\u00a0 He was surprised as I kept going \u2013 I could feel his surprise and it was motivating me more.\u00a0 When I finished, he stood there and slowly started clapping his hands in applause, cueing the others to join in. He walked over to me and in a very rare act of affection he lovingly embraced me into a hug.\u00a0 \u201cThese are my teachings.\u00a0 She is following my teachings.\u00a0 This is <\/span>sadhana<\/span><\/i> (lifelong pursuit of knowledge)\u201d.\u00a0 Then he turned to me and winked, \u201cNow watch the fun my dear.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n There was no turning back from there.\u00a0 Every class he would put my harmonium table next to his tabla table and we would both play and dance.\u00a0 He started coaching me specifically in this practice and giving me homework that I excitedly inhaled.\u00a0 I would call him with my practice stories and share my discoveries.\u00a0 My footwork technique went from being the softest with the worst clarity in the class to being one of the loudest with the most clarity.\u00a0 I was innovating with spins while playing, I was improvising for the first time and trying new time signatures like 9.5 beats.\u00a0 My entire interest and curiosity of the dance was unhinged and my whole being was fulfilled in a way that was indescribable.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t even occurring to me that for two full years I didn\u2019t really perform and I didn\u2019t really care.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
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What was it that really drew you to the dance?\u00a0 Are there any aspects of it that resonated more with you?\u00a0 What was the most challenging?\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n
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You have been instrumental in advancing the practice of Kathak Yoga developed by Pandit Das, by pioneering the practice of dancing while playing harmonium.\u00a0 Can you share your reflections on Kathak Yoga as meditation in motion?<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/leela.dance\/devsite2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Teaching-w-Guruji-Toronto-1024x678-1.jpg\")
The more I practiced, the more interesting it became. \u00a0 I started playing with the different speeds of 8 with my feet, overlaying them on the cycle of 16 while playing the cyclical melody, and also singing it.\u00a0 It was <\/span>hard<\/span><\/i> and it demanded a fierce level of focus. It was impossible to think about anything else while attempting it.\u00a0 At first, I found myself mentally exhausted after practicing it\u2013\u00a0 a sign of my nervous system being stimulated in ways that my neurological pathways were not accustomed to.\u00a0 But slowly, I found my mind and body to integrate and I would feel even calmer when I finished my practice then when I started.\u00a0 Without realizing it, I was embarking on a new journey of looking inward and of elevating my higher self.\u00a0 The moments of total stillness of mind during the practice of Kathak Yoga, was giving me great power.\u00a0 But not power over others. Not fleeting power from the external validation of performance. But a spiritual power that was deeply grounded in the discovery of knowledge.\u00a0 Knowledge of the art, knowledge of the self, knowledge that was building the perfect whole of dance and music.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/leela.dance\/devsite2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/49055934068_c11f32d468_o-199x300-1.jpg\")
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You were a member of the Chitresh Das Dance Company from 2000 – 2015. Can you share your experience of being in such sophisticated productions of that era?\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/h4>\n